Roots of love: Roots of love: Roots of love:

 Roots of love:

Roots of love: Roots of love:

Roots of love: Roots of love::

We begin the
school year with blank notebooks, pages fresh and clean. Backpacks are
free of crumbs and leaked box drinks. Children wake up early in
anticipation. We try to get to school a bit before the morning bell and
start the year off on the right track.

But slowly the familiar patterns start to appear. The kids are going
to sleep way past bedtime, waking up with just a few moments to spare. A
child leaves his notebook in school and must scramble to find a friend
whose fax machine is working. Nights spent struggling over homework for
hours, studying for tests left for the last minute, assignments
forgotten, cliques and social politics – it feels as if we are going
backwards instead of forward.


How can we make this year different from all the others? How can we
take our hopes and wishes for positive change and turn them into a
reality?


Transition between summer and school can be difficult for children –
and for parents. Any change in life can bring nervousness, worry, and
irritability. Children often have a hard time adjusting to new
situations, unfamiliar teachers, and the more rigid schedule needed
during the school year. When feeling overwhelmed, our kids may express
their emotions through becoming argumentative, fighting more often with
siblings, or withdrawing into themselves. And parents can find it
difficult to keep calm and not lose themselves in anger when things
don't go right.


Instead of just accepting that this is the way our home is meant to
be, let us think about reachable goals that we can work on. When we
create a plan, we can do away with unnecessary failures and strive to
help our children feel and be more successful.

My 5 Parenting Goals

1. Keep My Eyes Open

Sometimes we notice that something does not feel right with a child
but we get distracted. We are all very busy, it’s true. We have great
pressures and responsibilities pulling us in too many directions. The
child who seems a little ‘off’, not himself, snappy or more quiet than
usual is trying to tell us something. But it is easy to tuck this
information away in a back pocket and only realize that something is
wrong when a crisis occurs. We then think back and recognize that the
signs were there, we were just too preoccupied to pay attention.


Don’t allow problems with your child to fester and grow. Open your
eyes and observe if a child seems sad, withdrawn, distant, more moody
than usual, or angry. Recognize if there seems to be greater
confrontation between this child and siblings, if friends stop calling
or coming over, or if the child can’t seem to find his place in school.
Because before you know it, half the year can go by and what could have
been a small problem has now become a ‘situation’ that requires major
time and investment and causes terrible aggravation.

2. Develop a Working Relationship with Teachers

Reach out to your child’s teachers before your child reaches ‘zero
hour.’ Many parents feel as if teachers are their opponents and don't
realize that we are are all here to try and help our children grow in
the best way possible. If you think that there may be an issue, it is a
good idea to set up a meeting with the teacher and ask how you can work
in harmony. Too many parents call teachers to demand and accuse instead
of saying that we would like to solve this problem together. Before
going to the principal with a complaint, see if you can first diffuse
the situation.


If there are any special concerns going on in your home, do not wait
for the teacher to find out through your child’s acting up in class or
failure to keep up with schoolwork and poor grades.


When a grandparent falls ill, if there is a health issue, financial
stress, marital upheaval, problems with siblings, or any other factor
that may affect your child’s academic or social success, it would be
wise to enlist your child’s teacher as your confidential ally and gain
her/his understanding. You can believe that most teachers would go the
extra mile and extend to your child an open heart.

3. Work on Social Skills

Help your child be successful this year by preparing him not just
academically, but also socially. School is not simply about getting
straight A’s, it is also about learning how to get on with others and
knowing how to develop friendships. A child who is happy in school is a
child who can focus on studying and doing well. He wants to be there and
be a part of things. One who believes that school is all about
academics and no social life unfortunately makes a big mistake.

Roots of love: Roots of love:

Roots of love:

1. Sir Richard Branson, entrepreneur


My mother, Eve, always taught me never to look back in regret but to
move on to the next thing. A setback is never a bad experience, just
another one of life’s lessons.

2. Lionel Shriver, author


Sage advice from my old friend Ruth Dudley Edwards is “Get on with it”,
a sound approach to everything. If you have the leisure to think about
it, you have time to do it.

3. Esther Rantzen, journalist and founder of ChildLine


I like this 2,000 year old advice by Rabbi Hillel: “If I am not for me,
who will be? If I am only for me, what am I? If not now, when?” I think
it means: “Sort yourself out, protect yourself and ensure your own
survival – if you don’t, you can achieve nothing. However, selfishness
is empty, so ensure that you make a positive difference to others, and
do it now.”

4. Cliff Richard, singer


When I was getting serious about singing, my father told me that if I
didn’t make it there was still a life to be lived. Then, when I recorded
Move It, he asked me: “Do you really want this? If you do then give it
your all and give it all the time.”

5. Jilly Cooper, author


My darling grandmother told me: “Whenever you meet anybody, look for
something nice to say about them, because even if they’ve got a hideous
face they might have fantastic ankles or lovely hair, and compliments do
cheer people up enormously.” She did cheer people up and I always
wanted to emulate her.

6. Gordon Ramsay, chef


Put your head down and work hard. Never wait for things to happen, make
them happen for yourself through hard graft and not giving up.

7. Michael Vaughan, former England cricket captain


Darren Lehmann, a team-mate of mine at Yorkshire, told me to make sure I
ended my career with no regrets. He meant “don’t die wondering”. I took
that attitude into Strictly Come Dancing.

8. Antonia Fraser, historian


A very old Marquess once said to me: “No gentleman is ever rude by
mistake.” This seems to me a profound observation about the need for
courtesy and consideration to all people at all times. Unless, of
course, you have good reason for anger, in which case go for it.

9. Prue Leith, cookery writer and author

On clothing: if it doesn’t go in, it can’t go on. I seem to remember it was given to me by an irritatingly flab-free fella.

10. Brian Moore, former England rugby player and Telegraph columnist


An admonishment from Mr Hoyle, my English teacher: “Moore, there are
two sorts of people in life, those that do and those that sit on the
sidelines and snigger. Do I have to tell you which one is more worthy?”

11. Nic Fiddian Green, sculptor

Gandhi said: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

12. Jo Malone, entrepreneur

Launching my new business, Jo Loves, I chose four key words as my guiding principles: Inspire, Innovate, Ignite, Integrity.

13. Mary Riddell, Telegraph journalist

“Make sure you marry someone who can cook,” from my father who could boil neither a kettle nor an egg.

14. Stephen Bayley, author, design guru


I have three favourites: 1. The old Foreign Office directive: never
tell a lie but never tell the whole truth, and never miss an opportunity
to go to the lavatory. 2. From Henry David Thoreau: “Beware of all
enterprises requiring new clothes.” 3. From Jay McInerney: “Treat
everyone you meet as if you have secret information that they are about
to become extremely rich”.

15. Matthew Williamson, designer


My co-founder and CEO, Joseph Velosa, said to me years ago: “If you
don’t have passion, then you have nothing. If you don’t believe in what
you are doing, why would anyone else?”

16. Max Sinclair, English Heritage Angel Awards winner


For National Service I was desperate to join the RAF, but my father
advised me to join the Royal Engineers where I’d learn a skill instead. I
have no regrets.

17. Alice Arnold, Radio 4 newsreader

When one door closes, it’s shut!

18. Steve Cram, former Olympic athlete


Apart from: “Never leave the bar first because everyone will talk about
you,” the best bit of advice I got was from my coach, aged 14. He said I
would never achieve anything if I hadn’t already thought that I could.
It worked.

19. Joan Bakewell, journalist

When someone annoys you, just imagine them naked. You’ll feel their equal.

20. Camila Batmanghelidjh, charity leader

You’re not that important; it’s what you do that counts.

21. Alex Crawford, Sky News correspondent

Harry S Truman said: “The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and advise them to do it.”

22. Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson, Paralympic athlete

My grandfather used to say: “Aim high, even if you hit a cabbage.” It is about having a goal or a dream and never giving up.



23. Daniel Galvin, hair colourist

My mother told me: “The sky’s the limit; it’s there for the taking. But you’ve got to go and get it.”

24. Deborah Moggach, author


“Everything matters, but nothing matters that much.” I read this
somewhere, and love it because it strikes just the right balance.

25. Edwina Currie, former MP


A favourite teacher wrote this, from Hamlet, in my autograph book as I
left school in Liverpool: “This above all: to thine own self be true.
And it follows, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to
any man”.

26. Peter Florence, director of the Hay Festival


My father’s advice to me was that people in rural Wales have the same
cultural expectations and aspirations as people in Manhattan or Sydney
or Paris.

27. Bel Mooney, journalist and writer


Once I was miserable over a nasty book review and my great friend
Bernard Levin told me: “Darling girl, you have to imagine yourself
floating high in the sky above them all.”

28. Sir Roy Strong, art historian


Never be seduced by any position you hold and always be first and
foremost yourself. Jobs come and go but you go on. My then flatmate,
Michael Borrie, told me that when I was appointed director of the
National Portrait Gallery, at the tender age of 31, in 1967.

29. Victoria Moore, Telegraph wine writer


You always have more options than you think you have. Every time I feel
stuck or trapped I remember this, take my time, and reformulate my
plans.

30. Fern Britton, TV presenter

My mother always said: “It is never your extravagances you regret, it is only your economies.”

31. Richard Madeley, TV presenter

Passed on to me by the playwright John Mortimer, who received it in turn from his father: “All advice is useless.”

32. Doreen Lawrence, mother of Stephen, campaigner and writer


The best advice I have been given, especially since January when my
son’s killers were sentenced, is: “Your strength and courage is admired
by many. Keep up the good work.”

33. Xanthe Clay, Telegraph food columnist


I once put out a request for dinner party tips in Weekend. Among the
(excellent) replies was one that stood out: “Don’t get tipsy till the
cheese course.”

34. Ann Widdecombe, former MP

I always tell the young not to be in so much of a hurry. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

35. Jon Snow, journalist and presenter


My first foreign editor at ITN, John Mahoney, told me: “Never touch
anyone 'on camera’, and never be seen on television carrying a baby or
an animal.” I broke his rule during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. We
were almost alone in having a flat-bottomed boat and I found myself
carrying a heart attack victim into it. I told my cameraman to focus on
the old man, and not on me, in case Mr Mahoney was watching.

36. Lisa Armstrong, Telegraph fashion editor


My mother taught me how to remain sane when faced with the implacable
logic of small children: always give them choice, but controlled choice
with inbuilt distraction. Not “would you like to eat your vegetables?”
but “would you like to eat your vegetables from a green or a yellow
plate?” Worked like a charm.

37. Amanda Holden, actress and presenter

“One’s only ambition in life should be to be happy. Nothing else matters”, from my husband, Chris.

38. Dominic Dromgoole, artistic director of Shakespeare’s Globe


My mother once said to me before an interview: “Be confident and not
arrogant, and don’t be arrogant and unconfident”, which just about hit
the nail on the head with me.

39. Mary Keen, garden designer


My tutor at Oxford told me to: “Sleep for 8 hours, work for 8 hours,
play for 8 hours.” I didn’t, and my work-life balance would be better if
I had.

40. Michael Caines, head chef at Gidleigh Park hotel


“Take criticism constructively, not personally and see it as an
opportunity to improve yourself,” from Bill Heads, my lecturer at Exeter
College.

41. Goran Ivanisevic, former Wimbledon champion

Never give up, because if you keep believing and trying, anything can happen.

42. Edith Bowman, Radio 1 DJ

My mother Eleanor said: “What’s meant for you won’t pass you by.” It reminds me not to take decisions by others personally.

43. Robin Page, Telegraph columnist


My geography master told me: “When people tell you that there are two
sides to every argument, it is nonsense. There are three: your side,
their side and the truth.”

44. Tim Rice, lyricist and author

My mum, circa 1955, told me: “Make new friends but stick to old, one is silver, the other gold”.

45. Julian Fellowes, actor and writer


The best piece of advice I ever received was from my mother: “If you
want to be happily married, marry a happy person.” I am glad to say I
took her at her word.

46. Jack Straw, former Home and Foreign Secretary


When Barbara Castle was appointed Secretary of State for Health and
Social Security, after Labour unexpectedly won the 1974 General
Election, she asked me, then a barrister who knew nothing about health
or social security, to be her special adviser. My head of chambers at
the time, Sir Edward Gardner MP, asked me: “In 20 years’ time, would you
rather be in the British Cabinet or a High Court judge?” I replied “the
Cabinet”, which eventually led to my becoming Barbara’s successor as MP
for Blackburn.

47. Hannah Betts, journalist


My psychiatrist father always told me to “face my fear”. It has
instilled me with a lifelong sense that pluck is all, which, Britishly, I
feel it is.

48. Peter Barron, head of external relations for Google


All the best advice I received was from my father, and I even took some
of it. My favourite is: “The man who never made a mistake never made
anything.”

49. Mark Hedges, editor of Country Life


Michael Clayton, a former editor of Horse & Hound magazine, once
said to me: “Fall off as often as possible, your hosts will love you for
it.” It proved both tremendous advice and, with my riding skills, easy
to achieve.

50. Ai Weiwei, artist

Not
many people give me advice, but the most memorable came from a police
officer when I was released from the 81-day detention in June 2011. He
said: “If you work hard, you can become a good artist.” It has inspired
me to work harder to become a good activist.



51. James Corden, actor


The difference between doing something and not doing something is doing
something. So just do it. Oh, and try not to take yourself too
seriously, it’s just not cool.

52. Ed Victor, literary agent


Nigel Nicolson, MP in the Fifties, said of public speaking: “Always
know exactly what you are going to say. Never know how you are going to
say it.” Since then I have never had a problem giving a speech.

53. Michael Gove, Secretary of State for education

Since tonic is at least half, if not two-thirds, of a gin and tonic, make sure you choose the right tonic.

54. Marcus Armytage, former Grand National winner and Telegraph columnist


The three good bits of advice I’ve been given are all don’ts: don’t do
drugs, don’t join the Moonies, and, from my father: “Don’t hit your
horse until you reach the Elbow at Aintree in the 1990 Grand National.” I
followed all three with, I hope, more than satisfactory results.

55. Robert Bathurst, actor


When Bob Spiers was directing a Nineties sitcom I did, Joking Apart, he
only ever gave me one piece of direction: “Make it funny.” It’s all you
need to know.

56. Bobbi Brown, make-up artist


The author Liz Murray said: “If you go through things where you feel
like you’re in a dark place, you are not alone. You can change your
life. In fact, you can transform your life.” This statement made me
realise that no matter what challenges you face, you can overcome them.

57. Phil Spencer, TV presenter

My father used to say: “If you can’t be good, then don’t get caught.”

58. Nicholas Coleridge, president of Condé Nast and author


Make sure you have four good friends: one more handsome, one uglier,
one richer and one poorer than yourself. That way you experience perfect
contentment and humility.

59. Charlie Gilkes, nightclub impresario

My headmaster used to say: “If you don’t say something like you believe in it, how can you expect others to believe in it?”

60. Christopher Warren-Green, director of the London Chamber Orchestra


“If you feel as if you’re falling off a cliff, remember we can sprout
wings and fly,” from Margaret Hubicki, harmony professor at the Royal
Academy of Music.

61. Rachel Khoo, cookery presenter and writer

My mother still tells me to “sleep on it” if I have any dilemmas. A night’s sleep puts things in perspective.

62. Christine Hamilton, public speaker

My father used to say: “There are no stumbling blocks in life – just stepping stones in disguise.”

63. Harriet Cass, Radio 4 newsreader

When you look back on your life, you will regret only what you didn’t do. If you’re unsure, ask yourself “why not?”

64. Irma Kurtz, advice columnist


My father used to tell me: “Keep still, Irma, and listen!” Let others
speak without interruption to hear more than you expected and sometimes
more than they meant to tell you.”

65. Helen Glover, Olympic rower


When I was 13 my athletics coach, Peter Meredith, wrote “carpe diem” in
my birthday card. Ever since, “seize the day” has been something I try
to bring into daily life.

66. Matthew Norman, Telegraph columnist


“Have a think about another career,” from a tutor on the solicitors’
conversion course I found myself on after applying for what I had
thought was a course for prospective barristers.

67. Andrew Lloyd Webber, composer, theatre director


The legendary theatre producer Hal Prince once said: “You can’t listen
to a musical if you can’t look at it.” However good the music may be,
the show won’t work if the design doesn’t fit.

68. Sir Terry Pratchett, author

The author John Brunner once told me: “Remember nearly everything you are using to write a book is tax deductible.”

69. Lizzie Armitstead, Olympic cyclist

My coach Phil West told me: “Don’t believe your own hype,” reminding me to keep my feet firmly on the ground.

70. Arianna Huffington, author


My mother gave me something better than advice: a sense of
unconditional loving. This meant that as I was going for my dreams, I
knew that if I failed she wouldn’t love me any less.



71. Alan Hansen, former Liverpool player and Match of the Day commentator


My manager at Liverpool, Bob Paisley, had a go at our defence after a
game once and said I was the only person to have played well. He then
dropped me for the next game and I didn’t understand why. He told me
that it was all about experience, and your knowledge makes you a better
player over time. He was right.

72. Simon Mayo, Radio 2 presenter


“Respect the women in the house”, “The easier day is never coming” and
“Quality time is a myth”. These are all from The Sixty Minute Father by
Rob Parsons, and are invaluable and true. Accept no disrespect to
sisters or mother, assume that you’ll always be this busy and you only
get quality time by putting in the hours.

73. Sarah Gristwood, historian and royal commentator


On a film location once I wound up confiding to Anthony Hopkins my
dreams for the future. He shook his head and told me not just to dream,
but to “do it”.

74. Colin Jackson, former sprint and hurdles athlete

Daley Thompson said: “You will never be great on your own, you need to be able to work with people.”

75. Skye Gyngell, chef

From a bumper sticker given to me by a surf shop in Bondi: “Do what you love and love what you do.”

76. Paul Smith, fashion designer

Always give yourself time to think, particularly before you answer an important question.

77. Gretchen Rubin, self-help author


Years ago, after I got a promotion, I asked my boss for any words of
wisdom in my new job. She told me: “Be polite and be fair.” That short
phrase covers a lot of situations.

78. Richard Dunwoody, former Champion jockey

One of my trainers once told me: “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.”

79. Charles Moore, Telegraph columnist


Alan Watkins, the late, great political journalist, once told me that:
“Half-an-hour with Who’s Who is never wasted.” He is right, because a
fact about one person mysteriously joins up with a fact about another.
Who’s Who tells you what’s what.

80. Santa Sebag Montefiore, author


When we were skiing in Klosters my father would say “It’s sunny at the
top”, before heading up the mountain in thick fog. He meant “be
positive”, and always be grateful for what you have.

81. Chris Larkin, actor

“Always strive to be a better man.” Kiplingesque words given to me by my stepfather, Bev.

82. Sandi Toksvig, comedian and presenter


My father gave me three excellent pieces of advice: 1. Never trust a
man in a ready-made bow tie. A man who cannot concentrate long enough to
fasten a bow tie is never going to be a well of nuanced or intriguing
conversation. 2. One Vodka Martini is not enough, two is plenty and
three is too many. 3. Live your life with passion, or there is no point.
You might as well drink three Vodka Martinis with a man sporting
clip-on neckwear.

83. Geoff Boycott, cricketer


I took Uncle Algy’s advice: “When two people get involved in a run-out,
one of them is going to be very disappointed. Make sure it’s not you.”

84. Chemmy Alcott, Britain’s No 1 female downhill skier


A friend of mine, Eric Dunmore, said: “This injury is an opportunity”
when I broke my leg very badly in late 2010. To have someone look on the
flip side so positively when you are in a tough place really changed my
perception of being injured.

85. Ben Elliot, co-founder of Quintessentially Group

Both my parents always said: “Work hard and be nice to people.”

86. Matt Pritchett, Telegraph cartoonist

Advice from my grandmother: “Never grow old.”

87. John Mitchinson, head of research for QI


“Always walk towards the sound of gunfire.” The late Barbara Castle
told me this when I introduced her at a literary dinner along with
Jeffrey Archer. I’m pleased to say that as an orator, she wiped the
floor with Archer and this exhortation, which means if you think there’s
something wrong, there almost always is, is one I turn to pretty much
every day.

88. Sarah Beeny, property television presenter

I know it is nauseating but someone I used to work with taught me that positive things happen to positive people.

89. Nina Campbell, interior designer


If you feel like writing an explosive email or letter, write it, but
then save it as a draft or keep it in a drawer and revisit it the
following day. I find that usually I don’t send it.

90. Lady Annabel Goldsmith, writer and philanthropist


My grandmother, Edith Londonderry, told me to always try to remain
impartial in any family squabble and never to interfere or take sides in
a marriage.

91. Amelia Rope, chocolatier

Patrick Reeves, who co-founded sofa.com, taught me to: “Keep it simple.”

92. Brian Blessed, actor and explorer

“The greatest danger in life is to not take the adventure,” from Harry Dobson, one of my teachers.

93. George Carey, former Archbishop of Canterbury


On becoming Archbishop in 1991 a student of mine said: “George, power
changes people. Be yourself always. Your integrity is crucial to all you
stand for. Value and honour all people and laugh, often, at yourself
and the ridiculous antics of the Church.”

94. Annabel Croft, former professional tennis player, TV presenter


A TV producer once told me that the simplest questions were the best
ones, and that asking open questions makes people work harder at their
answer.

95. James Cracknell, Olympic rower


Abraham Lincoln said: “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d
spend six sharpening my axe”. No wonder he’s the only US President with a
statue in Parliament Square. It took me years to understand the value
of this but I genuinely try to abide by it.

96. Susan Hill, writer

If you don’t know what to do, do nothing.

97. Thea Green, founder of Nails Inc


Know what your competition is doing and never stop listening to the
customer. They are usually right. And remember that the best is yet to
come.

98. Viscount Linley, furniture maker


My father advised me to always strive to do better, learn from my
mistakes and aim for perfection. Within my business I encourage this and
am always asking: “is this the best of the best?”

99. Wendy Holden, author

One should always be slightly improbable.

100. Paddy Ashdown, Liberal Democrat politician

My father told me: “Never stop learning.”

101. Justin Webb, Radio 4 Today presenter

A cardiologist friend once told me: “Lifestyle changes don’t add up to much, mate, just take the pills and hope for the best.”


Many of those questioned also told us the advice they would most like
to pass on. Stephen Bayley, for example, would warn his children never
to cook in suede shoes. For many more answers see the arti

• 
  

• t doesn’t matter where the words of wisdom come from, we carry them with
  us like a talisman. A tiny pebble of certainty in the shifting sands of
  life. We still fall over, lose our way and get grit in our shoes. But
  somehow being sure of a truth, no matter what it may be, gives us hope.
  Happy New Year!

Roots of love: