Roots of love: Roots of love:

Roots of love: Roots of love::

We begin the
school year with blank notebooks, pages fresh and clean. Backpacks are
free of crumbs and leaked box drinks. Children wake up early in
anticipation. We try to get to school a bit before the morning bell and
start the year off on the right track.

But slowly the familiar patterns start to appear. The kids are going
to sleep way past bedtime, waking up with just a few moments to spare. A
child leaves his notebook in school and must scramble to find a friend
whose fax machine is working. Nights spent struggling over homework for
hours, studying for tests left for the last minute, assignments
forgotten, cliques and social politics – it feels as if we are going
backwards instead of forward.


How can we make this year different from all the others? How can we
take our hopes and wishes for positive change and turn them into a
reality?


Transition between summer and school can be difficult for children –
and for parents. Any change in life can bring nervousness, worry, and
irritability. Children often have a hard time adjusting to new
situations, unfamiliar teachers, and the more rigid schedule needed
during the school year. When feeling overwhelmed, our kids may express
their emotions through becoming argumentative, fighting more often with
siblings, or withdrawing into themselves. And parents can find it
difficult to keep calm and not lose themselves in anger when things
don't go right.


Instead of just accepting that this is the way our home is meant to
be, let us think about reachable goals that we can work on. When we
create a plan, we can do away with unnecessary failures and strive to
help our children feel and be more successful.

My 5 Parenting Goals

1. Keep My Eyes Open

Sometimes we notice that something does not feel right with a child
but we get distracted. We are all very busy, it’s true. We have great
pressures and responsibilities pulling us in too many directions. The
child who seems a little ‘off’, not himself, snappy or more quiet than
usual is trying to tell us something. But it is easy to tuck this
information away in a back pocket and only realize that something is
wrong when a crisis occurs. We then think back and recognize that the
signs were there, we were just too preoccupied to pay attention.


Don’t allow problems with your child to fester and grow. Open your
eyes and observe if a child seems sad, withdrawn, distant, more moody
than usual, or angry. Recognize if there seems to be greater
confrontation between this child and siblings, if friends stop calling
or coming over, or if the child can’t seem to find his place in school.
Because before you know it, half the year can go by and what could have
been a small problem has now become a ‘situation’ that requires major
time and investment and causes terrible aggravation.

2. Develop a Working Relationship with Teachers

Reach out to your child’s teachers before your child reaches ‘zero
hour.’ Many parents feel as if teachers are their opponents and don't
realize that we are are all here to try and help our children grow in
the best way possible. If you think that there may be an issue, it is a
good idea to set up a meeting with the teacher and ask how you can work
in harmony. Too many parents call teachers to demand and accuse instead
of saying that we would like to solve this problem together. Before
going to the principal with a complaint, see if you can first diffuse
the situation.


If there are any special concerns going on in your home, do not wait
for the teacher to find out through your child’s acting up in class or
failure to keep up with schoolwork and poor grades.


When a grandparent falls ill, if there is a health issue, financial
stress, marital upheaval, problems with siblings, or any other factor
that may affect your child’s academic or social success, it would be
wise to enlist your child’s teacher as your confidential ally and gain
her/his understanding. You can believe that most teachers would go the
extra mile and extend to your child an open heart.

3. Work on Social Skills

Help your child be successful this year by preparing him not just
academically, but also socially. School is not simply about getting
straight A’s, it is also about learning how to get on with others and
knowing how to develop friendships. A child who is happy in school is a
child who can focus on studying and doing well. He wants to be there and
be a part of things. One who believes that school is all about
academics and no social life unfortunately makes a big mistake.